PTSD, Mental Health, Druids, Bondage, Spells and your crystalline dossier.

A few months into my dowsing discovery, my guides informed me that I had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They spelt out 'Dusty PTSD'. I thought PTSD was for soldiers who had been trained to kill another human and couldn't live with the shame, but I have investigated this further and actually, my childhood experience would give me a similar response, let me explain.

Previously my guides had said 'dad here' and he spelled out 'I'm sorry, thank you for loving me, things not good with mum and women, you can make right'. My mum then came through and basically told me that the marriage was a sham and she couldn't get out of it and that I didn't know the half of it. He had many affairs and bullied mum into having children to keep her tied to him. I don't want to indulge in a pity party but I feel I must tell you of some of my experiences so you can understand how this effects someone's entire life.

My dad was a violent sociopath. That sounds dramatic but it's true. Being the girl I didn't get beaten as much as my brothers and as a result, I would often confess to wrong doings to save my brothers from the harsh wrath of his violence. He went through various stages of cruelty. One of his stages was to invite me into his bedroom on a Sunday and make me repeat after him 'Daddy I hate you'. I was in a no win situation. If I didn't say it he'd threaten to give me a hiding and when I would eventually say it he would send me to Coventry for a few days telling me I was horrible for hating him. If we ever cried we 'got something to cry about' and we wasn't allowed to grass, tell lies or be silent, no win situation. We just had to take the beating without crying or ever telling the truth.

One of the messages from the angels was 'dad shamed for treating Dusty like bot'. I was treated like a robot. Dad would call me from my room to turn the TV over for him, make him tea on demand, cook, clean and basically any other task he didn't want to do which was basically everything. Sometimes I'd even have to be on my hands and knees so he could rest his feet on me. If we ever said anything the whole house would come under attack. He had a way of making sure everyone in the house got involved and received a beating for not complying to the impossible rules he'd conjure up on the spot. This led me and my brothers to basically be compliant in every aspect of life and never show emotion or pain, exactly how a soldier is conditioned to kill another human, sadly we celebrate them yearly as heroes for taking part in a war that they didn't create 🤦🏼‍♀️ and we do it with honour 🥺

It's only when I connected to my Angels and the Star Beings that I've started to understand how valuable I am as a human. They have revealed to me trauma I thought I'd dealt with or didn't know existed in me. I have spent thousands of pounds trying to correct myself and deal with my past but I have mostly missed the entire point. I've been that person who's attitude is 'man up, grin and bear it' and felt impatient with people who I perceive get over emotional to life's struggles.

Yesterday I was guided to do a video about Narcissists and PTSD. I searched the symptoms and wrote down some key words I thought would be useful. The reading was somewhat revealing. I thought it was about someone else, but when I wrote down the words and sequences and investigated further, I realised they were talking about me.

I compiled the entire scripture, decoded it as I went along and published after confirmation that it was all okay and correct. Then something happened after I published it. I was told to take it down. This confused me, why was I being guided to unpublish it when I had got 'it'? This is what I have worked out.

Often they have spelt out to me 'RITE' and when I looked this meaning up, its a ceremony or ritual that's written in a contract, such as a wedding. They have told me this is 'Druid'. When asking if druid was good I got 'NO'. I'm not suggesting that being married is wrong, I like the concept of marriage. However, what I believe they are referring to is a 'written contract' as what we contract ourselves to commit to often leaves us with a form of bondage and as sovereign beings, we were meant to live without bondage, that's not the same living without responsibility. As far as the Angels and Star Beings are concerned, words are spells and 'Spell-ing' brings words into reality.

As previously mentioned, they have often referred to my 'Dossier' which is 'set in stone'. The stones are crystals which holds chromosomes, or our original make up. Crystals have memory in the form of energy and do not use words which is Satan's work, this is why they have evolved my training to use symbols as opposed to language. It's hard to get my head around when I'm acting as a translator, but I get that its the correct approach. Hence ancient sacred tombs use symbols as opposed to language. The bible is full of misinterpretations that has been used as indoctrination as a form of control or bondage. Infact, our entire society is based on scripted laws with the intention of holding us to a form of bondage.

Another thing they have made me aware of is that our story becomes our reality and the more we tell our story, the more it becomes our reality. People who have lived through trauma, which is most of us, are encouraged to go to a counsellor and tell our story, over and over and over again. I did a counselling course once and remember coming out of it feeling completely drained and exhausted. Reliving my past over and over again, was not actually helping me move forward. And this is why PTSD is prevalent to this whole story. It's good to talk, its good to get things off your chest, in the moment, when its happening and its good to live in a society that encourages it. Sitting on trauma that's stuck in ones head enables the unspoken to repeat itself and thus repeating our reality. I get a bit cagey about talking about my past. Not because I hold shame, or because its exhausting and brings others down and makes them sad or awkward, but because I don't want to keep myself stuck in a repeat cycle. We are not our past, we don't live there anymore. We are who we are today, in this moment, at this time. I've used my experience to reach out to those who have had similar experiences and to express that the angels want you to move forward, beyond your current sadness. I guess you could say that they want you to rewrite your story by experiencing joy and achievement, in this moment, at this time doing what you can with what you have.

As I write this in real time, I dowse to see if I get the point. Not entirely. On further approach I asked them to give me a clue and they spelt out 'Zy' and went to the 'End' button on my laptop. When I looked this up they went to 'pronoun' and when I looked that up I got 'interrogation' end. I think the point is, is that when we enter into a formal (or informal) contract with others or even ourselves, we are hostage to interrogation. When we have 'our story' we are held hostage to our own interrogation, attached to our story. Practicing non attachment sounds very fancy and something only 'enlightened' people can achieve, but this seems to me another form of spiritual poppycock he he! Express your story, express your hurt and your pain and move towards your Dossier, and not your Rite!

If you'd like help in finding out what's on your dossier, feel free to contact me.