Why trying to be happy will make you unhappy!

I'm learning to be a Master Manifestor AND I'm impatient and want everything to happen NOW.

One day when I was thoroughly fed up with my circumstances I asked spirit 'don't I deserve to be happy? I have no family, no job, no home of my own, no car, no boyfriend, no social media and you've even stopped my pleasures (all the stuff I've been trying for years to give up 🤣) and got a 'YES'.

'Well why can't you just give me a lottery win? I just want a leg up. You say no to the vaccine so I can't take part in society, I can't use social media which limits my ability to promote myself and connect to others, I'm stuck. I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY!'

Dowser' - 'No, will kill creativity'. I pondered this and thought 'Yep, you're right' and then asked 'is fullfilled a better word'? and got a 'YES'

'Accomplished?' - YES

When I think about it, when I reflect back on my life's experiences I consider the times I've been truly happy, most have been when I've hit rock bottom and left a difficult situation and I've had no other choice than to go into survival mode and pull a master piece out of the bag.

I had a great job once, on paper at least. It was well paid, great terms and conditions, fancy title and a job description loaded with corporate babble, but I grew more and more miserable and beat myself up wondering why I wasn't happy when it appeared that I'd ticked a few boxes on the socially acceptable list of things that I perceived should have made me happy. It wasn't all bad. When I was working on projects and creating and delivering new training programs, it was great. But training is the first thing to go when targets need to be hit and I was constantly fighting a losing battle to produce an outcome and feel accomplished. The only time I was needed to was unearth a toolbox talk from a pile of training records so a manager had evidence to sack someone, it didn't exactly inspire me and it wasn't the job I thought it would be underneath the corporate language of ethics and people friendly missions statements. I was a well paid pen pushing jobsworth that wouldn't be missed.

When I left I got a job as a cook to tide me over and I LOVED IT. It was part time and my motivation wasn't 'need the money' driven. It gave me a whole new perspective on doing something for enjoyment rather than necessity. I was producing something people enjoyed, I was learning new skills, I could taste and see my accomplishments. I was proud of what I produced. The hardest thing about that job wasn't learning to live on less than half my previous income, it was telling others I was a cook. My ego took a battering because I no longer had this socially acceptable fancy title to justify my worth to the world 🤦🏼‍♀️ how crazy is that? When I told the employer that I was going back to college to learn beauty and massage she said 'but you're worth so much more than that' to which I replied 'I know I have the capability but it didn't make me happy'.

Happiness is what I now consider a strange myth developed by self help gurus to sell you a service. If I never had to worry about money ever again and could buy all the cars, pamper days, holidays and clothes forever and ever, would I be permanently happy? My guess is that I wouldn't. It wouldn't take me long to be bored of being pampered and I'd be looking for the next thing to try and make me happy.

Now I'm not suggesting it's great to be poor and of course it feels better to live in comfort. But comfort alone isn't a recipe for happiness. We don't really know what happiness feels like until we feel unhappy and then appreciate those joyful moments so much more. Happiness is a temporary emotion that comes when we have fulfilment.

What's quite interesting is that when I was dowsing and manifesting my perfect body (it's improving 😁 not fast enough though 🤣) it was highlighted to me that I have never been proud of my body. 'no joy in exercise' and this is so true. Exercise was something used by my father as punishment, it was a humiliating experience. I was always chosen last in school for games. I have never experienced joy in any sport, too scared to be the team let down.

When my mum was dying her body became very thin, she went down to 4 stone. I was 12 and remember lifting her hand to kiss it, she was so frail. It was after she passed that my eating addiction started. In my 30's I went to see a psychologist and he pointed out to me that I kept using the words 'empty inside'. The opposite of full is empty and I was attempting to fill that emptiness 'fullfilled'.

When I'm creating I rarely think about food, I literally eat when I'm hungry. I suspect that most people's addictions are not just about the substance, habit or ingestible being of an addictive nature, I think they are filling an emptiness or void on unfulfillment.

Today's society is so forward it's backwards. So many tasks that would have kept us busy and creating and socializing and learning are now outsourced. We have someone to make our food, make our clothes, make our music, make our entertainment, look after our health, children and education whilst we go out to work for a barely livable wage with just enough to buy a few pleasures squeezed into a couple of days as a 'treat'.

We are so busy watering somebody else's garden that we can't see the weeds growing inside our souls. And then we beat ourselves up for being more comfortable than our elders but not being happy and think there's something wrong with us and that we have a 'mental illness'. To some degree, this is true. The illness is that we are more socially distant, uncreative, unsupported and lack the stimulation and situations that keep us feeling accomplished and fulfilled.

Happiness is a passing emotion and in my opinion, it's a myth that we should have an expectation to accomplish happiness.

What could be a more useful strategy to improve ones overall well being is to get more creative doing things for self and community instead of outsourcing them. How are you going to unleash your creativity?

If anyone wants to knit me a blanket ....... 😉